Monday, September 15, 2014

The Last time I had to deal with a narcissistic personality




Most people I worked with in the profession were good down to earth kind of people but unfortunately , there were many who were in leadership positions but had no clue what leadership was for the only thing that mattered to them was themselves. It was always about the “me” syndrome rather than the “we” that was needed so badly. 


I didn’t have a BA degree or Masters in psychology to determine what I believed were people with severe personality disorders around me. I found their behaviors were text book examples of personality traits listed in the DSM V code manual that everybody says exists to identify such kooks, nuts, and idiot as well as that special group called “morons.” However, I will refrain from calling them such names.

In this profession there was no need to be elaborate about the findings around you. Some nuts were just that, nuts and there was no way to get deep into the root of the matter and be overly clinical about it. The workplace was filled with every weirdo listed in the DSM V and nothing could change that. 

However, there was one class of people that created an abundance of challenges because of their special trait to be a professional in a very complex volatile and potentially dangerous occupation, the narcissist and how to re-arrange, modify or adapt your communication skills in order to get them to cooperate with you. 

It would be unprofessional for me to throw away the manual and use “common sense” approaches and title, label or call these individuals a non-scientific name such as “prick, asshole” or any other profane word that described them best. We had to be professional so we will call them by the right name, the corrections narcissist. 

In layman terms I found these people to have “low self-esteem” problems. I think they had a problem with the association with officers, clerical workers and others beneath them in when measuring their intelligence and other “geek” like classifications. 

Taking a closer look at their profile I believe they truly believed they were better than the rest and felt they had to prove it with their idiotic way. Reminding you I am not nor was I every qualified to be a psychologist, I did notice that in order for me to have a helpful understanding of their motivators, I had to adjust my approach with those who possessed a narcissistic personality disorder. 

I readily identified those types by the frequent and persuasive need to hurl insults or other demeaning statements and comments to the others. Again, from a layman’s view I saw these people as persons possessed with deep-seated neurosis. 

I knew a narcissistic administrator who would refuse to answer any e-mail that used non-accepted word abbreviations.  The best way to describe him was to say he was always right. He would project the “My way is the only right way and any other way is wrong.” He or she cannot be wrong. 

The narcissist is never, ever wrong, and they like to present "proofs" that they are correct.  The narcissist cannot accept responsibility for making a mistake and they are expert at diverting the blame to others. Frequent rehearsals of saying “it's not my fault” and pointing the finger claiming he or she lost that promotion because “my team let me down.” Last but not least they demonstrated or exhibited a very arrogant, boastful and pretentious attitudes

Often enough I saw arrogant, selfish elites we call snobs in society and who are easily threatened in the workplace therefore reacting in a weird and bizarre manner to ward off any attacks on them. They did this by hurling insults and other offensive comments to elevate their own presence or in some cases, their authority or positional superiority.

I think they did this because they were dealing with some sort of guilt within their own minds as to stooping so low to work in this profession but feeling above it. They seemed to have strong feelings of being ashamed to work inside a correctional setting thereby projecting a better and grandiose appearance or front for others to see. He or she was indeed “The old saying "a legend in their own mind.” thus what we were dealing with was the office type narcissist.

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