A journal of a wimpy man who learns from the hard knocks of life and changes his ways to be better.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Monday, September 5, 2016
An Act of Intimidation - an excerpt out of the book - Correctional Officers -
Although
not everybody has the traits to become an officer, others perform better than
average because they have added an additional trait in their personality that
can be helpful at timed during stressful situations or conflict. Some officers
have learned how to intimidate people without the use of violence. In reality,
this is something that everybody wants to be able to do but few have the
testicoli to make anyone think twice of flinch, much less make them sweat or
pea in their pants.
For
those who possess the right qualities and characteristics to be intimidating
(remember size is not always a factor) the art of intimidating someone can and
will go a long way to getting what you want in the content and context of
compliance. The best or most effective kind of intimidation style is the one
that is implied. The best intimidation
is the one that's implied. By saying ‘implied’ one needs to be able to present
command presence without being armed with a gun or any other non-lethal weapon
and get the job done with pure old fashioned fear.
In
a sense, you want prisoners to fear you but you also want them to respect you. Therefore,
you have to walk a fine line that shows you are approachable and reasonable as
well as a little bit on the crazy side of life. Being a little bit crazy is
never a bad thing and helps your position when matters get tense around you.
You want them to recognize your power – not necessarily
a physical power but the power of influence, and the power to get things done
your way. Although being someone of a large physique or standing six foot or
taller makes a positive impression at times, it can also be a magnet for
conflict if abused and combined with arrogance or abusive natures.
A
fool with a weapon might get you to wet your pants, but you'll never be able to
get the job done inside a jail or prison where guns are strictly prohibited and
only carried and authorized on certain special posts such as transportation,
tower, and court or hospital duty.
So
let’s take the steps towards the art of intimidation without having to be
6'5" or 250 pounds as gender is not a factor nor is the size of the person
in charge of compliance. Remember, you are being watched constantly so whatever
you do, make a positive impression and use that perception to build a level of
uncertainty and mystery about yourself to a degree, these predators will
respect you at all times.
The
best way to intimidate someone who doesn't know you from Adam is to remain
upright and credible at all times and walk with an air of being as mysterious
as possible. Be impossible to read or avoid being predictable. Sure, showing up
at work unshaven, cuts and bruises and even wearing a cast along with having a scowl
on your face, can help your look, but if you don't know how to carry yourself,
whoever you are trying to intimidate won't know the difference between you and
an easy prey for the predators around you.
The
less someone knows about you, the more you leave things open to the
imagination. The more blanks your opponent fills, the less menacing you are.
It's that simple. Avoid telling your life story at work; avoid telling
co-workers about your home life, your domestic relationships and your finances.
The less they know about you, the better the uncertainty and mystery about you.
Fear
feeds on the unknown and doubts in life. The more doubt you project about
yourself, the better the act. Keep your emotions intact. Don’t show who you are
and wear your heart on your sleeve. Everyone fears the unknown and uncertainty.
If you don't know what to expect, you're more on guard. If someone finds out
you cry during chick movies, well, guess what my friend? You won't even
intimidate your blow-up doll.
The
trick to present to the environment is to present a persona that he or she
perceives to be unbalanced and unpredictable. The crazier the perception, the
more wacko you act, the sweeter the pot is for delivering your Marlon Brando
act of intimation.
Show
your psyche to be strong inside and outside. Maintain a strong personality and
avoid being ‘soft handed’ with people who deserve to be punished and not
coddled. You are not a fatherly or motherly figure at work – you are the
enforcer – the peacekeeper of the place – in essence, you are the gatekeeper. Be
the intelligent one, yet show anyone who has doubts about you, you can come
across as a barbarian or badass as well if the time comes to project such an
image.
Intimidate
by being unpredictable and show a fake unstable temperament or disposition. Be intelligent
in mannerism but put on the normal MO people expect you to have and change it
up without warning. Let people try to figure you out instead of thinking they
already got you figured out. Be smart enough to toss a little doubt in the air
and make some of your audience freak out – be cool and never lose your temper. You
don't have to be violent to show the other guy you have a screw loose or that
you're out of control.
Be
a pseudo psycho, but be a scary psycho; let them fear your eyes. Take the
emotion out of your stare and always make eye contact. Never, ever be nice or
sensitive but remain professional and polite. This confuses them even more. You
have to put it in your head that you are a cold, calculating machine and
willing to execute your job to get the directives followed and obeyed without
the use of force or disciplinary tickets.
In
prison workplaces, there are always those prisoners who will try anyone to see
how far they can get with their annoyance or their stupidity. For certain,
there are
certain guys that get tried on a daily basis and there are other guys who never
get tried for whatever reason. It’s not always about looks because some of the
biggest guys still get tried and get their asses beat and some of the smallest
guys are avoided by literally everyone.
Why is this? It is suggested that
everybody carries with them a certain command presence that is weak or strong
or average. The more you work on your command presence, the stronger the aura
that surrounds you and sends off vibes to the prisoners. What is important to
understand is the fact that just because you haven’t been tried much, there
will be times when we get checked therefore, you need to be aware and work on
your image to keep it to a minimum while at work.
Building an intimidating look does
not come from beating people’s asses, quite the contrary, keeping the air in an
uncertain terms and doubt, keeps me a man of peace and honor but I do have a
hidden demon within me. What does help is the willingness to participate in the
craziness that gets going when the place jumps off and never hesitate to back
up you fellow officers without any doubts.
What it means is that you are a bit of an adrenaline junkie, you love
when the heart starts pumping, the warm “kill” flows through your veins and the
skin starts to tingle from that juice making it to the surface putting a smile
on your face and making you look crazy or willing to jump in the mix without
fear.
You have to be one of those odd
individuals who enjoys a stinging blow to the nose or the after-fight cool down
when that warm juice recedes and the heart is working its way out of the
throat. You have to preserve your reputation that when it comes down to ‘fight
or flight’ you will never flee and stand your ground.
Look scrappy even if you are not the
scrappy kind; talk and walk scrappy and make them think you are in ‘mad dog’
status. If you don’t have it then let’s
work on it. Remember these words - Intimidation starts with being unpredictable,
if you are a short guy or gal, don’t let your shortness (aka Napoleon complex)
get the better of you, people expect you to act that way so act the contrary.
If you stand tall and somewhat a muscular
guy, don’t walk showing your guns on your arms. There is no need for that so be
subtle about your big man tendencies, talk softly but directly, look into
people’s souls when you talk to them. Stare beyond their eyes and force them to
look away. When you get crossed and a fight can’t be avoided, turn instant
animal and destroy that individual to the point where people have a “WTF”
moment.
Don’t’ talk too much. Being a
chatterbox is not the best tool at work. It may work for you at home but at
work, keep the chatter down. Keep your speech short and relative. Listen a lot
more than you contribute, this is the way of a predator, it will bring your closer
to the psyche you seek. Kill emotion, a passionate guy is a weak guy,
regardless of how sexy your girlfriend tells you it is when you jump in some
guy’s face when he roots for another team, it makes you look like chump to the
real sharks.
Never sit down when faced with a confrontation
and never turn your back. Stay alert, remember you don’t want them to see you
coming. Once you decide to get physical the rules change but if you can stare
or talk them down, that is the preferred method at all times. Don’t get punked
out and back off. Know your limits and where your back up is at all times. Once
you decide to get physical go beyond ridiculous (slam them and slam them hard) and
make them realize that pissing you off was probably the worst thing that they could
have done at that point.
Make yourself the kind of person
where they come to you as a last resort and positive interaction. This is accomplished
by respect or in this case, mutual respect. Although you may be rolling deep in
the ‘sanity’ department, you are still noticed and feared to be someone who can
get things done. Another tool you can use it the buddy system and roll with a
group or a single person who matches your persona or in some cases, parallels
your demeanor but is easier to approach making this a ‘good cop bad cop’ situation
to resolve problems. dare to walk beneath their personal or predatory zones,
never walk away from your work area and show retreat.
Work on your self-possessed and
self-assured talk and walk characteristics and keep it pseudo gangster-style
but civil and never demeaning. Disrespecting someone sometimes has serious
consequences and almost always done in an ambush style kind of revenge.
Don’t provoke a fight but always show
the willingness to never run away from one. Imprint in your mind as well as
those around you, if it comes down to ‘fight or flight’ you will fight. Just know
that intimidation transcends the aspects of strangers more than anything else
so transcend doubt, fear and uncertainties about yourself – the rest will work
itself out.
Sunday, September 4, 2016
Living with Mental Conflicts - Sub-conciousness or Denial Tools of deception
Living with Mental Conflicts
Full Definition of conflict
- 1 : fight, battle, war <an armed conflict>
- 2 a : competitive or opposing action of incompatibles : antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons) b : mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands.
It would be
reasonable to assume that living with a mental conflict within yourself would
be an undesirable trait to possess. Some would argue that it at its worst, a
form of being pathologically disturbed in nature or manner. Others insist that
having such conflicts inside the mind leads to episodes of repression of the
realities we either deal with or the occasions where we have dealt with it.
As far as theories go, it is the Freudian theory that is going
with the repression and purposeful denial aspect with dealing in the realities
of life. Some would go as far as saying that those qualities are epitomized in
the mental illness diagnosis of schizophrenia understood to be a “split
personality” caused by “double binds” resulting from conflicting or differing
types of communications, the jarring of a person’s cognitive skills or the
experience of having contradictory or mixed emotions.
Under the pretense of understanding this concept that “conventionally
speaking, having a mental conflict has been regarded as at best, a precious
possession of human emotions.” The root of this kind of thinking was the
assumption that the mind—and indeed the integral parts of our brain —functions,
or ought to function, as an integrated system without internal contradictions
or disharmony. This is where the main differences lie in both theories.
The conscious-self, in particular, was
assumed to be a single, simple entity, with any deviation from its intrinsic
harmony and cohesiveness being self-evidently pathological. Putting this in
content of context of everyday life, we generally agree that as a human being,
we experience togetherness, harmonic relationships, and some level of
self-integrity which are important and sometimes conflicting or confusing to
other people’s perceptions and confidence in you and how you rationalize and
behave most of the time.
Certainly, we can see how this perception can
change how people trust your judgment and character as your ‘image’ when seen
by others, should ideally be consistent, credible and certain one which
possesses self-confidence. In other words, it is all about the image you
project that makes people feel good or bad about you.
Your own personal consciousness is important
and therefore, there are efforts to keep your private part of your life not be
part of your professional life. This separation of deliberate consciousness awareness
leads to an interesting point that you might want your professional life be ignorant
of your personal life to avoid dealing with integrity or wrong-doings in your
life. Some may call it denial while others just plainly call it being ignorant.
What it really amounts to is a shielding of a personal side of your life
compared to your professional side.
According to Robert Trivers, such “concerns
with personal public relations throw an interesting evolutionary light on consciousness.”
Trivers “argues consciousness evolved to fool itself all the better to fool
others.” He concludes: “The mind must be structured in a very complex fashion,
repeatedly split into public and private portions, with complicated interactions
between the subsections.” I am sure you can see how this facilitates the
art of deception.
I am also certain how this changes the
perception of being straightforward or honest with others as this kind of
behavior is anything but an integrated manner of thinking or acting as a
genuine and sincere person. What it does is illustrate the importance of how
you are self-seen in a social setting and comparing yourself to others.
Contrary to a Freudian theory, the difference
seen is that this kind of behavior is used as a repressive tool as well as a
defensive mode that is motivated to ward off inner-conflicts, confusion and
stress or anxiety. Contrary to Triver’s theory that this is a primary function
of the self-seen deception mode which is offensive in nature and evolved as a
meant to resist stress and used for survival purposes.
Looking at this as a means to camouflage your
real emotions, what you are really dealing with is an act or purpose to deceive
others or distract them from the real persona inside you. Whatever the imagined
reason, purpose or motivation may be, the result is the same for both Freud and
Trivers: compromised consciousness and a divided self, with serious, deleterious
consequences for the individual and for their peace of mind.
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