Thursday, December 15, 2011

Veterans with PTSD


Veterans with PTSD –Common Family Problems

Sad news coming out of Phoenix Arizona where it was reported a married returning war veteran shot his wife during a domestic dispute and stated he did so because of his military training and coping skills taught to him by the United States Army. Basically, what the ex-soldier was saying that his military life created problems for his family relationships and caused him to lose control of his anger and set him up for failure in his life, his marriage and his mind.

According to the Veterans Administration, male veterans are more likely to have problems related to their personal relationships or marriages, being sound parents and having poor coping and functional skills dealing with family issues. This is not to imply that female veterans do not experience the same type of problems as they are also prone or susceptible to the same symptoms of PTSD as their male colleagues when they deal with their personal issues.

Looking at marriage problems there are reports of not sharing their thoughts and feeling with their spouses and in personal relationships there appears to be identical issues reported around intimacy and other emotional issues that tend to give them lower satisfaction of the relationship or life itself. In marriage, PTSD veterans tend to be divorced twice as much as non-veteran and 3 times more likely to divorce 2 or 3 times during relationships. In addition to the numerous divorces, their relationships are also reported to be shorter than normal indicative of their problems to handle intimacy and emotional issues related to family issues.

It must be stressed and emphasized that veterans with PTSD are more prone to experience more physical and verbal aggression as well as domestic or family violence issues. In addition, this violence is not just restricted to family but extends beyond their support group or families. Regarding violence, veterans with PSTD commit more family violence than other spouses or partners.

Impacting their daily health and wellness it must be said with most certainty that PTSD impacts the mental health of the veteran and his or her partner. It has been reported that post trauma stress disorder has impacted lower levels of happiness; less satisfaction in their personal lives; excessive disappointment or demoralization / discouragement and reporting more than 50 % feel they are near the rim of a “nervous breakdown” in their lives.

Therefore it is reasonable to conclude that living with a veteran with PTSD who has gone through serious trauma such as a war or other critical incident involves having a high risk of violence within the family setting or circle. Family members and friends must seek effective ways of helping these veterans and assist them in treatment that consists of education for the entire family, support groups for both partners and veterans, therapy either group or individual and preemptive family counseling.

Source:

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/partners-of-vets.asp

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Willa the Bear and Stoney Creek


Willa the Bear and Stoney Creek

Willa was small for a grizzle bear and was made fun of by the other bears as they hunt for salmon on the Stoney River up north by the Canadian border. Her parents were huge in size and were well respected in the forest as great hunters and good neighbors. Willa had two brothers that were normal size and growing quickly. It was difficult being a runt kind of bear as others poked fun at Willa as she lagged behind the others when their longer legs carried them further and faster than her shorter legs. Although it was seldom they all traveled together at one time, there were hunting trips they all took together to show the others that they mean business whenever they found a spot along the river banks that were full of delicious fish swimming for their lives during the spawning season.

Willa’s father was Cody and her mother’s name was Wendy and both were excellent species of the Kodiak bear family. Her brothers were Brutus and Cody Junior who were both good hunters as they learned quickly from their parents how to catch and skin a salmon on the run. Their paws were twice the size of Willa’s and it was easier to catch a fish with such claws that grabbed them and kept them there to devour and satisfy their hunger.

The late springtime snow was piling up as the last storm of the season was relentless in dropping the white stuff at least a foot every hour. The water was still frozen and the temperatures were hovering around the zero degrees mark testing their wills to survive in this Canadian wilderness near Stoney River. Willa knew that few men would travel here and as such, never feared the smell of humans giving her peace of mind to travel about and learn more about the forest and the river. It was such exciting excursions on the river banks and deep forest that gave Willa the chance to enjoy life as a bear should feeding on wild berries and fish when the seasons gave them plenty to catch in the water.

Kodiak bears are tough creatures and can endure the worst weather that can be delivered by nature. Willa just reached the age of six as well as both Cody Jr. and Brutus. Staying together as a family was rare but as the weather changed, the bears would sometimes drift off afar and search on their own a new place to live. Their den was large enough to keep them all safe but the boys were restless and Willa wanted to see the world on her own so she prepared herself for a long trip down the river and look for an adventure that would make her stronger and better as a hunter. She had already learned as much as she could from both her parents and wanted to try life on her own as she became restless and wanting to leave the den.

Her mother weight about 500 lbs. and her father was almost twice her size at 800 lbs. Her brothers, each growing into good sized bears weighed about 400 lbs. each making Willa the runt at 250 lbs. and shorter than all of them. Her daddy stood about 5 foot tall when standing on all fours and could reach berries in trees up to 10 feet high when standing on his hind legs. Momma bear was not as tall as her father but still tall enough to reach places hard to get to and eat heartily when hungry.

It seems that her brothers lost a little bit of weight when they came out of their sleep in the den but she knew that just like her, the coming of spring and the thawing of the ice and the warmer temperatures will give them a chance to gain their weight back quickly if they hustle and find some food to eat. Carnivores and the second largest species of bears around, they had a hearty appetite and required a lot of food to keep their weight up and the energy high.

Saying goodbye to her parents and her brothers, Willa headed down the river without looking back. She knew her momma was worried about her but being old enough to travel alone, she understood why Willa wanted to leave and go on this adventure. She was not concerned about humans shooting her for there were few that lived or traveled up here so far north near the Alaskan border and Canada but she feared that other more powerful and meaner bears would harass her or harm her if she intruded into their territory by mistake and taken as an invader or nemesis of the other Kodiak bears that lived there. Her biggest worry was her size and the fact that she barely weighed enough to take care of herself if she did get into a fight or tussle with another bigger bear.

The snow turned into rain as the riverstones made traveling easier through the river. Sometimes the muddy bottoms make is harder to travel thus these riverstones were pleasant to walk on and kept her footing safe from falling or slipping. The clouds were still swirling as the thunder and the lightening was all around her causing her to seek cover from the storm. Looking for a cave or hollow somewhere to hide out a while, she found this nice cove near the spot where the river forked and a smaller creek ran further south as the river remained going east.

Slipping into the cove she rested and dried out a bit as she felt the warmth and comfort of this place that was just a few yards from the river but closer to the edge of the creek where the water didn’t run so fast as the beavers had dammed off a good portion of the river water and slowed it down a bit where the water wasn’t so white and swirling in circles.

Willa, thinking to herself, agreed that tomorrow she would follow the creek instead of the river as the water was calmer and the ground softer on her feet. Exhausted from the long trek she managed to get a soft spot near the mouth of the cove and fall asleep. Snoring softly she dreamt of her brothers and parents back at the home den and remembered how much fun they had playing with each other in the snow and in the water.

The sunlight awoke her from a deep sleep and as usual, she was hungry at first sight of the sun. Looking around she remembered where she was even though it was dark when she turned in for the night before and found this cove. Remembering that she wanted to follow the creek and leave the river she prepared to find herself some food before she started the journey down Stoney Creek.

Willa saw a lot of animals along the way and recognized them to be friendly and not hostile. She greeted the deer, the elk and even the moose that came out of the woods to take a look at her as she traveled down the creek. One of the elks, a big one with a huge rack on his head began laughing at Willa as he snorted to her “why, you are nothing but a runt brown bear that seems to be lost.”
Somewhat embarrassed at what the big elk said Willa replied “I may be small but I can do anything a big bear can do and more.”

Laughing with the other elks joining in the big fella said to Willa “Oh yeah, I bet you can. However you will have a hard time catching fish with those small paws as your claws are small and can’t hold the fish when you try to catch them.”
Knowing that she had trouble catching fish Willa replied “I will admit that my paws are small but my heart is big and I don’t give up so easy. I can catch fish with the best of them.” Bragging aloud about how she kept up with her brothers looking for fish and forage back at the den.

Needless to say the elk didn’t believe Willa but gave it no second thoughts as they moved on to find something to eat. In the meantime, there were some squirrels and other small creatures that had gathered on a fallen tree stump and watched the conversation between Willa and the elk with much interest.

Willa surprised at these spectators and feeling kind of embarrassed as they sat there listening to the elk ridicule her said to them “Well, what do you guys have to say? Any smart comments about my size or paws cause I can lick any of you or all put together.” Wondering why this smaller cub sized Kodiak had such a bad temper, the squirrel said to the raccoon “My my don’t we have a temper.” Then turning to Willa he said “we didn’t mean any harm. We were all thinking you could catch fish and just as strong as other bears.”

Then the squirrel introduced himself as Silas and introduced the raccoon as Moses. Then as the two made friends with Willa, other little creatures appeared and they all introduced themselves to her as the morning past by with no more fights and disagreements about Willa’s paws or hunting capabilities. Willa had only traveled a few miles down the creek where the river forked and appeared to have found some new friends that were willing to travel with her down the creek looking for an adventure. The one quality that Willa had was her quick adaptive instincts between good and evil things. She saw these little creatures as good things and felt no threat talking to them or even hanging out with them. The first thing she did was ask them if they knew of any good places to eat and vegetation that was filled with berries as the fish would not come down the river for another few months yet.

Chattering all at the same time Willa said to them “Whoa whoa, one at a time please, I can’t make out what you are saying. Just tell me which direction to travel to get some food as I am getting hungry and when I am hungry, I get grumpy and when a bear gets grumpy, they get in a bad mood.”

Laughing at Willa, Silas said to her “There are some great berry trees down the creek and not too far from here. Do you want me to show you?”
“Sure Silas lead the way and show me where we can eat. I am starving and I need to grow a little bit more for I too lost a lot of weight during the winter.”
Not trying to laugh this time around, Moses said softly “Follow me, I will show you the way and if I move too fast for you just tell me to slow down a bit” chucking a little under his breath.

As the three traveled down the creek to find some berries the rain let up and the sun came out. The warmth of the sun made traveling a little easier and within an hour of traveling, Willa was amazed of what she saw. The whole area in front of her, around her and going all the way down the creek was filled with bushes that had berries, lots of red berries on their branches. It was the most berries Willa had ever seen in one place and it made it easier for her to fill her stomach just sitting there and eating as much as she wanted until full.

Willa’s eyes couldn’t believe what they saw. Berries lots of berries and the more she ate, the happier she was. Now it was said that bears have the same eyesight as humans, hearing the same of an average dog and the ability to smell comparable to four times better that of an average dog. Her personality was easy going and making friends was a natural thing for her but her intelligence told her to be careful of some situations such as bigger bears and the deadly humans.

Sitting on the soft grassy knoll with her friends and eating the abundant berries, Willa knew that with this much food, there must be other bears around wanting to eat from this same area. Although sociable in nature and easy to get along, she feared her size made her a push over and tried to avoid encountering other bears as much as she could to avoid fighting or worse, getting killed by a rogue bear that was either a bully or somebody who wanted to fight all the time. Her momma had warned her to stay away from bullies and other creatures that fight bears even their own kind.
Most of all, she was afraid of people. Willa was not a shy bear and in most circumstances never retreated from a situation that would challenge her courage but her parents had taught her that people carry guns and that guns kill from afar and very quickly. She was told that people shoot bears just because they can as they don’t eat them but rather, hunt them for their skin or souvenirs.

Her parents told her that the only kind of people she shouldn’t be afraid of where Indians that lived down stream but didn’t hunt the bears as they took them to be more mystical and supernatural as members of the spirit world where the two roam closely together most of the time. Her parents were smart and she trusted their words as she traveled away from the den. Her belly full of berries she said to Moses, “Can you find us a better place where we can take a nap. I don’t think this is a good place to sleep as I am sure there will be other bears coming along here pretty soon with so many berry trees here.”

Moses, scratching his head said to Silas “What about that small cave down the creek about a mile or two. It was just big enough for Willa and there is some food nearby that she can eat when she awakes as I am sure she will again be hungry.”
Silas agreeing that the small cave was an ideal place to hang out a while said to Willa “We will take you there. It is not too far and you will like it for it is warm and cozy to sleep in and there are hardly any other animals that hang out there.” Roving a little and trampling the high grass that was quickly growing in the spring time sunlight, Willa’s nose sensed danger and told Silas and Moses to get up into a tree to be safe.

Willa, not a fierce fighter but no coward could smell another bear nearby and was worried that it would want to fight with her over the territory she had invaded if that was the case. Shortly, the rustle through the tall grass revealed the presence of another brown bear and this was a huge bear that was bigger than her father, Cody. Thinking that this bear was going to fight her, she prepared for a struggle by standing on her hind legs as she growled at the big bear showing her teeth and snarling out loud. “What have we here” said the big bear “A stranger in my territory eating my food and berries. I don’t like strangers and I don’t share my food with anyone.”
Sensing the big bear was angry; Willa’s legs were tiring as she stood there, all 5 feet tall on her back legs when the big bear stood up on his hind legs and dwarfing Willa as he must have stood a good 10 feet tall and with claws three times the size of Willa’s.

Growling and snarling back at Willa, the big bear stood back down on his four legs as he turned his head and said to Willa “You got courage standing up to a big bear and I give you that. Now that you are tired standing on your hind legs so long you can relax and rest your legs for I do not intend to fight you today.”
Willa was relieved and somewhat trembling felt a need to stay alert as she stood down on her four legs but kept her eyes on the big bear constantly. Thinking the threat was not yet done; she remained vigilant and watched him closely as he ate some forage that was nearby and moist to eat. Almost about the time Willa was getting a little more relaxed in trusting the big bear a little, she sensed another threat as another bear approached the area where they were standing. This bear was also huge and matched the big bear almost pound for pound as the two stared at each other toe to toe. Sensing a fight was about to happen she looked up to the tree where Silas and Moses were and with a quick motion of her head, she motioned for them to scatter and run.

About the same time Silas and Moses took off running, the earth shook like an earthquake and the two big bears were tangled into a fight that was going to leave one dead or injured severely as these two bears were seriously defending their territory from being intruded. Roaring and snarling and growling noises were echoing throughout the air as the two colossal creatures fought tearing at each other’s skin and clawing each other badly. Scared, Willa was afraid to look as the fight was certainly fiercer than any other she had ever seen even with her father when he was defending them and her mom from intruders a year or so back in time. Just as sudden as the growling and snarling started, the noise was gone. One of the bears had won and the other had lost and scampered away to fight another day. Curious to see who won the fight, Willa peeked down on the area where they were fighting and saw the first big bear still standing there but wounded.

Climbing down from the tree, Willa looked at the big bear and saw he was bleeding on his shoulder where the other bear had bitten him and clawed him cutting him deeply. Wanting to help, Willa asked the big bear if she could help him and treat his wounds. The big bear, looking at Willa with a hurtful stare in his eyes said to her “Yes, you can help but you must be careful, I don’t know if the other bear is coming back so you must not let your guard down once. I will show you what you can put on the cuts to make it better. There are some special herbal leaves over there that the Indians use to treat their wounded and it helps stop the bleeding.”
Tenderly Willa treated the wounds on the big bear and as Moses and Silas came back from their sudden departure, they told Willa that there were some humans coming down the creek that had heard the two bears screaming and fighting moments ago. Certainly they will be looking for the big bear and shoot it as it was a trophy size bear and good to show off to the other humans once back in civilization. Scurrying off into the deeper parts of the woods, the bears and Willa’s friends tried to hide from the humans. A bear so large leaves an easy trail to follow as it tramples a lot of grass as it travels. They needed to find a way to confuse the trackers and find a safe place for the big bear to heal.

Darkness was on their side as the day was still short in the northern parts of this land and the sun disappeared quickly over the western mountains. Using the darkness as a cover to avoid being seen by the human trackers the four of them found a cave higher up in the hill side that was hard to get to but once there, served as a safe perch with a view of the entire area below where they can see if anyone is coming up on them.

Once safe and covered in the cave, the big bear said to Willa “I want to thank you for taking care of me. You could have run off and left but you stayed to help me. That took a lot of courage. In fact, you are a brave bear for doing so.”
Willa feeling good about what the big bear said replied “I couldn’t leave you, you were hurt and you needed help. My momma and father always told me that if we bears stick together, then we would be better off because fighting solves nothing.”
The big bear introducing himself as Bruce said to Willa “You had some good parents there Willa, I am glad they taught you well and to be a little bit more trusting than other bears. I have a daughter your age and I don’t know where she is but I am sure that if you want to stay here and live in the same territory that is mine, there would be no problem in doing so.”

Willa, amazed at the kindness of Bruce said quickly “I am traveling and looking for an adventure but it seems I have already found one just being here on Stoney Creek and meeting you, Silas and Moses. I don’t know if I want to travel any further but right now, I think we should sleep on it and talk about it in the morning.”
Before Bruce and Willa fell asleep Moses and Silas said they had to get home because their families were waiting on them and they didn’t want them to worry about them so they said good bye until tomorrow. Silas said to Willa “We will come back tomorrow and see how we can help you decide whether you want to stay or travel on farther down the creek. Good night all.”

The full moon was covered by a heavy layer of clouds that indicated another round of rain coming in from the northwest. The temperatures were still chilly and the cave was damp so Willa was not as comfortable as she was in that cove they found a day or so back. Soon the two of them were snoring and drifting off into a deep sleep.
The morning came with no sunshine as the rain clouds covered the sun. The cave would remain damp and cold as the air didn’t warm up much even this late in the morning. There were no signs of Silas or Moses so Willa thought they had either forgotten they promised to come back or something was wrong where they lived and they had to take care of that first. Either way, she wanted to climb down the side of the hill and be on her way and travel farther down Stoney Creek. Bruce awaking and groaning and moaning a bit because of his wounds asked Willa if she had decided to stay. Shaking her head no, Willa said to Bruce “Nothing personal Bruce but my adventure is not yet complete and I want to see more of the world.”

Bruce, understanding Willa’s will to see the world said to her softly “Before you go, won’t you reconsider and stay here and share the territory that is mine. I could use some company and I don’t trust every bear I see.” Taking the request as a compliment, Willa said to Bruce “No thank you, I must go but I will always remember your kindness and maybe see you again after I travel some more down Stoney Creek. But if you don’t mind, I will gather some food before I go and see you down this hill to make sure you are going to be okay from here on.” Together, they climbed down the side of the hill and parted once they got to the creek. Willa said her goodbyes and traveled further down the creek noticing the rain clouds were letting up and allowing the late afternoon sun to peek through a little bit to warm the air up just a little.

Somewhat leery of those humans that were tracking them the night before, she was most unwilling to travel in the open as she felt safer traveling through the high grass where she was partially hidden from view except for the path she made with her wide body that cut a two foot wide swath through the grass that was easy to follow.
Reaching the rocky slopes of the outer edge of what appeared to be granite rocky terrain; Willa’s paws were having a hard time climbing the smooth but jagged rock that took her over the ridge into the green valley on the other side of the mountain. Wanting to follow the creek would have been easier but afraid to be seen by humans, she chose to take the rocky road over the ridge and get back to the creek once on the other side.

The rocky terrain hurt her paws a bit as they were tender yet for she had not really traveled much until this spring. Hanging around her den for the past years has made her soft and is the main reason why she wanted to go on this adventure to begin with as she wanted to see the world and toughen up a bit. Noticing the sun was setting Willa began looking for a place to sleep. She didn’t like traveling at dark and felt safer inside a cave or something solid giving her protection from the elements and the other animals.

Gathering some brush to made a softer bedding Willa laid down and quickly fell asleep. The hard climb wore her out and there was much more to see tomorrow. It was with some comfort that Willa felt safe there in this new cave she found eventually as the darkness was falling quickly and the temperatures were getting cold for spring was taking its time arriving and warming the air up a bit more than winter.
Sleeping soundly, Willa heard some rustling outside the cave she had found the night before. Curiously she peeked out of the edge of the cave and saw humans standing there with guns in their hands. They looked like they were hunters, the kind her parents had warned her off and they didn’t look like they were very friendly as they were drinking something out of a bottle and laughing loudly staggering a bit side to side with the bottle in hand.

She was trapped inside the cave as the two humans blocked her exit out the cave and into the woods. She had picked a bad cave to sleep in but didn’t see everything the night before as the darkness blocked her view of the landscape and didn’t reveal the cave was situated so once inside, there was only one side out without cover from any bushes or brush to hide behind. Waiting out the humans, Willa was hoping they would not come into the cave for she was trapped. Waiting and waiting she laid still hoping the two would be bored sitting there and drinking but because they were so loud and acting so senseless with that bottle, she feared they would want to find a place to lie down if drunk enough to pass out.

Hours passed and the two were more rambunctious that before. It was almost dark and they had built a small fire but hadn’t move two feet from where they were in the morning hours. Frustrated and scared, Willa was seeing how humans act under the influence of alcohol and thought that with those guns, they were more dangerous than any big bear in the woods out to kill other bears over food or territorial rights. The difference was that these men just wanted a pelt or skin or other bear souvenirs to sell or show off the bear skin.

Suddenly, the air was still and the men’s loud and boisterous shouts were no longer present. Peeking out of the cave Willa saw nobody; not a soul was out there and the empty bottle laid there on the rocky ledge near the cave entrance.
Roaming down the creek and looking for some food, Willa heard some familiar voices yelling out to her asking her if she was okay. Standing upright, smelling the air and looking around she saw nothing and nobody. Then peeking out from behind a large tree she saw her two friends Moses and Silas laughing and acting silly.
“What’s the matter Willa, cat got your tongue” said Silas. “Can’t you think of anything to say to us like how are you or something? We have been watching you for a while now and decided to let you roam a bit before calling out your name.”
Willa was happy to see them and eagerly ran to meet with them near the big tree. She missed them and certainly didn’t expect to ever see them again. She thought they had gone for good and left Willa on her own.

Suddenly it came to Willa that she had found good true friends and that no matter where she went, there would never be such great friends anywhere else and keeping her company and making her laugh was important of being happy and content. She also thought of Bruce and how gentle he was towards her telling her how she reminded Bruce of his daughter that had gone away and never came back.

Trekking through the woods and following the creek back to where she met Bruce the first time, she realized that this may be the best place to settle down and have friends; friends such as Silas and Moses and sure many more if she settled down and took the time to meet them all. In the meantime, her nose had picked up the scent of another bear and she was hoping it was Bruce as it was his territory they were in. looking around stretching her neck to see as far as she can see her eyesight saw a big hulk of a shadow on the face of a boulder that resembled a big bear. The shadow was moving towards Willa as she noticed it was rearing up on its hind legs and towering high about with loud roars and snarls warning any intruder of its presence.
Coming around the rocky edge of the boulder Willa’s eyes came wide open as she saw Bruce standing there on his hind quarters growling and then laughing at her while smiling as well. He was unable to keep a straight face as he came back down on his four legs and said to Willa “It’s good to see you Willa, have you decided to stay here and enjoy the fresh berries and good food?”

Willa’s heart had stopped beating as she began to relax a little now knowing that big bear was Bruce and friendly to all there. It would be nice to stay here near the creek and only a few days away from her mom and dad’s den and keeping Bruce company in this luscious green space near the creek and not too far from the river where the salmon will soon be flowing and the river turn to ice again. She was thinking that being with Bruce was most comforting and that he was a fine bear to learn from as she grew older and learned more about survival and defending herself from nature and others.

It was here where she didn’t feel like a runt and where nature was ever so kind to her allowing her to be healthy and free to roam either down the creek, the river or the mountains knowing that Bruce was there to protect her and that her little friends were here to keep her happy and content while searching for new places to find berries and other foods that would make her bigger and stronger without all the struggles of competing for the food like she did with her brothers and other bears nearby the den her mother and father lived for so long.