Saturday, September 13, 2014

The last time I encountered a Plague of Doubts





Many relationships have been ruined and destroyed by doubts. The fact that doubts play into every bad relationship brings it back to the concerns if there is enough trust within their circle of love to sustain the dynamics of a wavering relationship that is pounded and compounded by negativity between two or more people. 

Another word that has creating a division in relationships today but it’s not the blame or reason for the breakups. 

 Distance is that dirty word for couples who have made professional obligations as they realize that distance may be tough to survive their connection but the fact is a couple can survive distance if they ensure the relationship is free of doubts and trust is a common denominator. 

Doubts are created by lack of commitments to each other or to their love. It causes instability in actions and creates friction that often results in misunderstandings and arguments. A lack of commitment stifles an opportunity for the affair to grow and when a relationship becomes stagnant or boring, bad things happen. 

It is normal and expected for relations to be challenged and faced with situations that truly test the devotion, loyalty and dedication to the other person as time can either heal a wound or make it more infectious. What is also tested is transparency, openness and honesty. Each layer of these qualities build a stronger foundation for one to rely on whether they are close together or far apart. 

They say no man is meant to live in solitary or apart from their loved ones. That may be true but relationships are always tested by distance and whether it is far apart or nearby or in the very same room one is for sure, people are social animals and need company to do their living. Stability gives a person a level of satisfaction they can depend upon no matter how their lives turn out. 

Each and every one of us look for some sort of stability in our lives to build on. An on off relationship damages the stability we are searching for. Shaky relationships are signs of a lacking commitment to share the good times with the bad times and indicates a need or want to stay away from one another when in fact it should be a time to be closer. Sometimes it is the catalyst that begins the doubt and extrapolates more doubt as time goes by. 

The hardest part in dealing with doubt is the frustration is sets off inside of you. It cascades into a plague of worries and anxieties that only serves one purpose. It will destroy a marriage, an engagement or a relationship quicker than anything else. Without mutual trust and loyalty to each other, the bond is bound to not survive. 

Last but not least are the temperaments of those involved with each other. Admiring each other or being opposites in personalities creates dynamics that have to be addressed and reassured often and reinforced constantly. Dealing with opposed personalities should not cause you to neglect your own thus being true to yourself is just as important as being true to each other.  .  Being true to yourself will save you and your loved one from unnecessary pain and heartache later on.

This will save you pain and heartaches as time goes on. People have differences in disposition. Hence, while some can handle the distance, some cannot. It is not a question of strength or weakness, and you shouldn’t berate yourself if you find that you are the type who can’t do it.
 
When the doubts overtake your trust and if distance is not the worry then all you can do is reassess yourself and ask yourself what your future looks like with or without the other. Define your own personal boundaries and see if there is room for sharing or compromising your expectations as well as the other person. Communicate honestly and openly and let your heart decide.

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