Demonic
Filled Sleepless Nights
Every person has a
master. Every master controls the heart and soul of those vulnerable to
disillusioned thoughts and sleepless nights. One could say this is a direct
cause of sleep deprivation. Waking up in the middle of the night, I often gasp
for air as I believed to be bleeding to death as if attacked by a demonic alien
inside my own domain where I never felt safe enough to fight off the feelings of
destiny and death on my own.
A choking sensation
around my neck, I can feel the abnormal cardiac rhythms beating louder and
causing my flesh to turn red as blood pulses heavily, rising to higher pressures
preparing me for torture by the devil of vengeance and immorality. Even in my
sleep I am vulnerable to his wicked ways as my mind strays into a deep sleep
but yet I feel awake.
My heart can foretell
the dangers, my soul collapses with painless sensations as it embraces the
darkness around me. For one minute, I am a soulless warrior, looking for the
light. My dream has taken me down a path of demonic proportions and my rage
comes to a boil as my wrath lashes out to against any resistance of those remaining
souls of lost warriors who try to save me in vain.
There are no
terminations of my sleepless nightmares. It is a constant pulsating ghastly experience
I cannot control. My mind is now in the hands of the devil as he rules the
shadows. The heathen-like hate burns inside my head; for all practical
purposes, I feel like I am dead. Bleeding all over, the blood spills on my
hands, pillow and the walls. It is as if Satan himself has called me.
Somewhere inside my mind
there gathers an abnormal mass of festered evil; the kind that bring those with
souls to their knees and ask for mercy. For a moment, I see the devil smile as he
is pleased with the manner he controlled my mind and will. Metaphorically, the
devil drinks my blood as I feel trapped inside this darkness. For a moment, the
lightheaded sensation carries me away to another world as I am consumed with sinful
thoughts and mystification.
Standing there, in the darkened
underworld, I hear the soulless warriors laughing. Skimming my mind to the last
rational thought I gathered, I realize my head is spinning too fast to make any
sense out of this confusion. I know my head is hard-wired for logic but my thoughts
are wired on the high side and blurring the lines I could only see if I was mentally awake.
This sleepless night
seems to last forever – my painless nights appear to sooth my soul enough to allow
me to walk on the wild side a little bit longer. Inside my head, I wonder how
long I can endure this bitter feeling and walk alongside the devil and live a
full life knowing I am a disciple of the
devil.
Credit my heart and
faith for fighting this dreadful feeling. The tremors inside me shake my head
into a spin that clear the clouds and gives me a clearer vision of who I am and
where I am standing. Even while fighting the wickedness, I struggle to maintain
a nexus to a reality that this is all but a dream and that I am really
sleeping.
My life is normal, yet
the painless sleepless nights bring into a paranormal world where days are
nights and nights are days. Even in my sleep, I find the extra time to see how
everyone around me dies. Without a doubt, I give a damn about those dying but I
feel helpless to do anything about the victims around me. Afraid to act out
with kindness because the devil is standing there right beside me, smiling and
laughing as thunderous as he can be.
Naked to the underworld,
exposed to the crippled souls around me, I feel the urge to stand up and walk
away but my feet are frozen and my head is rolling into a spin that kisses the floor
as I fall to a blood dampened marble tile underneath my body. In my ear, I hear
unborn and unnamed diseases spread out around me and carried away by the wind. At
the same time, the wind whispers in my ear, it’s all a dream. I think I am delusional.
Somewhere in the
distance, I hear the rolling thunder; the roof disappears to expose the sky and
stars of the heavens. This makes me wonder if I am really awake or asleep as the
surreal death around me is hard to justify if this is indeed real and tainted
glory. Soon, I will see the light and the sleepless painless nights will be
over. Somewhere deep, my faith restores my trust in the goodness in life and
the darkness fades slowly.
Out of time, my mind and
soul will reluctantly be returned to me by the devil, making me wonder if death
is really hard to justify even when you try to preserve the ones you love. With
the light, the rats, the cockroaches and vampire bats disappear. The night is
over. I pinch myself to see if I am real as the sweat rolls off my wet pale flesh
and the dried up blood under my fingernails makes me wonder, if the perceived demise
of man was real or if it was just vision.
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