Recent events has led me to write this article to my grandchildren
because of my fear that we are on a journey that may impair or destroy the very
moral fiber and justice we have been striving for since the mid-sixties when
legitimate civil rights challenges came upon us to resolve and deal with
legally as well as morally as they were all major human rights conditions
without exception.
Times have changed and the message here is one of
compassion, understanding, kindness and hope that you will have the capacity
and the forgiveness in your heart to figure out how to solve problems and
transform your lives into something meaningful according to your own plans and
your own ambitions. Although I could say we have traveled this journey before,
there are positive dynamics which may make this journey more fruitful than ever
before.
I pray your opportunities match your capabilities and that our
communities has given you the tools for success and opportunities which may
open many doors for you now and in the future. If you are struggling I
recommend you find a way to improve your self-confidence, education or career
choices as it is painful to see you struggle and limit yourself because of
discrimination or oppression you may have experienced. I speak these words only
because I had to overcome such difficulties myself in my life.
We know that these two elements may limit your growth or
social competence and we pray you find the strength to recognize them in a
timely manner and overcome their debilitating influences on your lives. I don’t
ever want you to hold yourself back from opportunities and developing the
confidence that will make you a greater person and a productive member of your
community and society. Hopefully, you will find sources which may empower you
to find your greatness and enable you to do what you were destined to do.
In all reality, discrimination has been around for many centuries
and will never be eliminated. Talking about discrimination in a social content
we talk about specific characteristics e.g. race, gender, religion, national
origin, political opinions, sexual orientation, class – and treating groups
differently as a result. Although discrimination can be either positive or
negative – you can either discriminate in favor of or against a particular
group – my focus here is negative discrimination.
Hopefully you recognize this reality and keep it in mind at
all times when you deal with issues in your life, career or community
interactions. Oppression is discrimination carried to its extreme. Oppressed
people are not only discriminated against, but are also subject to physical and
psychological brutality – and occasionally genocide – sometimes for disobeying
or displeasing those in power, sometimes to discourage them and others from
trying to change their condition, and sometimes out of pure hatred. Looking at
Iraq and the slaughter of century old Yazidi tribe and their ancient cultures,
you can understand that this kind of behavior will never be tolerated but it
does exist.
This is the major basis for my concerns. I don’t want you to
fall victim to the phenomena of this force in a negative manner as it can
disrupt or destroy lives and its opportunities to bring you happiness. There
are places in our country that have not followed the rule of law when it comes
to civil rights and the rights of human beings under our Constitution.
The modern era has seen unheralded blending within the
family model. Bluntly stated, these bi-racial families are mostly
accepted in today’s culture and traditions but there are still vacuums to fill
from cultural and ethnicity approaches that also includes religious, spiritual,
sexuality, age, gender and finally, generational.
The previous idyllic "nuclear family" with a
homogenized veneer that had cookie cutter models in grown and children sizes. In
other words we are all different. This along with your own identity and
personality makes growing up a challenge while surrounded by these dynamics.
Over the course of 3 decades a lot has changed. The
acceptance of blended families and familiarity with them in the community is
more a norm. But inclusion in general can still be distant. These are the
dynamics I worry about as you are my children and will likely bear the burdens
of society’s wrath towards different opinions.
Ethnicity and race still have a prominent place in our
world. Muslim and Jews are fighting in the Middle East. Black and White violence has occurred in
Ferguson MO. Many Latino children are
being accosted or abandoned at the borders with no recourse but to depend on
our government to feed and take care of them through no fault of their own. Right now we don’t have the answers except to
keep trying to treat people right.
We have endured many conflicts previous to these events and
we are making progress in some areas. In other areas we have dropped the ball
as a society and need to get it back in line with our social expectations that
all men are created equal. America is and always will be a melting pot of
people but it is important to remember these are people.
These highlighted events revisit the differences in people
and create the distance that people will create for those seen as different
creating a de facto bias. This is both destructive and harmful to our
communities, our families and our friendships. Relationships have been impaired
because of such “differences” in ideologies.
On a daily basis the blended family lives like any other
family but society has not surpassed bigotry and racism, they seethe beneath
the surface like gasoline waiting for a spark (mostly this is a memory not a
lifestyle choice). I have experienced this multiple times in my life and
wish such friction on no one. My point is to let you know that regardless of
the pain or harm inflicted, you are strong enough to overcome them and build on
these events to make you stronger.
We need to realize our blended family has done nothing wrong
but we are subject to periods of different treatment of bias and hate. We
know we only love each other and we are no different than anyone else.
The world does change but not quickly and there will always be those who
will be small and bigoted (but they are the minority of late and when you are
your grandfather’s age they may have largely disappeared, hopefully).
While we are not the "standard" family we are a
family. We are like any other family and we live in better times then
when I was a kid. But remember we are not beyond looking at differences at a
society but there is movement in that direction daily. Tis will be likely it
will be your generations who will be called upon to set this all into an
accurate perspective and once again strive to overcome the challenges and find
the pursuit of happiness a realistic goal again.
Be strong. I have faith in your generation’s ability to
build peace and harmony when others failed. For this, my generation owes you an
apology and pray you forgive us. Look to
God for guidance and always remember who you are, where you came from and who
brought you the light of love into your hearts.
