Places of the Past by Carl ToersBijns,

Photo by Maggie Irwin

Lonely nights brings me back again to those dirty places

Just like the many times before I break the dawn sitting here, just silently thinking

Everything is the same and nothing is new or so it seems today

I’ve lost everything I owned but gained it back again

Driving down the lonely country road I threw it out the window

Never looking back in my rearview mirror because I knew all along, it would find its way back again

And start it all over and over just like it did before and before

Looking up to the sky I see it’s not falling as the colors keep my hopes alive

That tomorrow will bring me something new and different

Somedays these colors are not so perfect as they guide my thinking

Even when I can’t see the light I try to keep my eyes wide open

They help me out when I am lonely they keep me sane when the light goes dark

I have to stop this extremely thinking that takes me home again

I’ve been in war and dirty places as I wiped my tears away to shed the pain

I remember those extreme and noisy places just like it was yesterday

I never liked them then and hate them even more tomorrow

These extreme places cause me to be alone again inside this prison of my mind

Whether I will ever be loved again or find some room to share my heart

I fell apart so many times before I fell apart so many times before I am afraid to start

But not once did the noisy sounds inside my mind say to me it’s over

There is no need to close your eyes and suffer from the light

Life has let me down a time or two or maybe even more before I stopped counting

I didn’t give up but I didn’t couldn’t see the light with my eyes shut tight

Listening and feeling and knowing my heart is still beating

They couldn’t get me although in heaven’s name they tried and so my world will never be open

They couldn't get me, although in heaven's name they tried

As I hide from the darkened fear inside my head I closed it all,

I closed it all to stop the pain from hurting so many heartaches

So many places some say I fell apart but I am still standing

Never gave up on life but it’s easy to see that I keep going back to these dirty places

For where I am now, it is not at all where I want to be