Photo by Maggie Irwin
Lonely nights brings
me back again to those dirty places
Just like the many
times before I break the dawn sitting here, just silently thinking
Everything is the
same and nothing is new or so it seems today
I’ve lost everything
I owned but gained it back again
Driving down the
lonely country road I threw it out the window
Never looking back in
my rearview mirror because I knew all along, it would find its way back again
And start it all over
and over just like it did before and before
Looking up to the sky
I see it’s not falling as the colors keep my hopes alive
That tomorrow will
bring me something new and different
Somedays these colors
are not so perfect as they guide my thinking
Even when I can’t see
the light I try to keep my eyes wide open
They help me out when
I am lonely they keep me sane when the light goes dark
I have to stop this
extremely thinking that takes me home again
I’ve been in war and
dirty places as I wiped my tears away to shed the pain
I remember those
extreme and noisy places just like it was yesterday
I never liked them
then and hate them even more tomorrow
These extreme places
cause me to be alone again inside this prison of my mind
Whether I will ever be
loved again or find some room to share my heart
I fell apart so many
times before I fell apart so many times before I am afraid to start
But not once did the
noisy sounds inside my mind say to me it’s over
There is no need to
close your eyes and suffer from the light
Life has let me down
a time or two or maybe even more before I stopped counting
I didn’t give up but
I didn’t couldn’t see the light with my eyes shut tight
Listening and feeling
and knowing my heart is still beating
They couldn’t get me
although in heaven’s name they tried and so my world will never be open
They couldn't get me,
although in heaven's name they tried
As I hide from the
darkened fear inside my head I closed it all,
I closed it all to
stop the pain from hurting so many heartaches
So many places some
say I fell apart but I am still standing
Never gave up on life
but it’s easy to see that I keep going back to these dirty places
For where I am now,
it is not at all where I want to be
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