Friday, October 16, 2015

My Mother in Law - & the Ancestral Altar in the living room


My Mother-in-Law and the Ancestral Altar

 

Living with my mother in law for months at a time has given me a new perspective on how the family mourns the death of our youngest sister and sister in law. We were saddened by her sudden departure at such a young age that we mourned what seemed to be an eternity plus then some.

On the other side, my mother in law is still in mourning and she has erected an ancestral alter to keep her connection spiritually with her daughter alive.

It may not seem real to many that do not practice such devotion to a deceased person but my mother in law is no ordinary person. Her heart is filled with 24 karat gold and her love for humanity, the family and close friends is unwavering and always strong as she is the type who carries her heart on her sleeve wherever she goes.

When Marissa passed away from a complicated surgery, we were all shocked it happened so quickly. Our hearts poured out pain for her children left behind and denied the love of their mother so early in their lives. It was cruel and harshness all rolled up in a ball that couldn’t be undone. The pain was so enormous, it showed on all our faces.

Passing the years, we have all recovered to some degree of our dire and dreadful loss of our little sister. All of us, except of course, my mother in law who still mourns her death daily. Every day, she walks up to her photograph and kisses her gently. Her eyes still tear and her voice trembles.

Her attempts to connect with her through the spiritual world has deepened yearly, as she not only connects with Marissa but with her mother and father as well as her devotion to her sisters.

When you walk into her home, she is very clear about her religion. There is the statue of the Virgin Mary, the crucifix on the wall and the abundance of scriptures hanging with the face of Jesus in the middle of the center wall. There should be no doubt about her faith, her devotion and her love for God.

Then as you walk into the middle of the room, you will instantly spot her blissful conception over there on the wooden desk converted into the ancestral alter stands her spiritual reality.

A small but practical alter made for the heavens to see for her beloved Marissa. It stands out like an antenna for all to see and hear her story of her cherished and precious daughter.

She made this alter with love, as every creation, every piece of energy was put into the reality that there is a connection between her and the spirits of the dead as well as the living as she still feels sad for the dead and spiritly loves those still around her, especially her grandchildren who come often to stay with her on the weekends.

My mother in law made this altar for all our ancestors, this altar has become an attraction for other spirits who will take notice that she still wants to worship and venerate with these spirits.

 

In her own words, she said that this alter and all its belongings “is a very important step in working with the spirits” and necessary if you want to continue to worship or venerate your ancestors. 

 

She makes it clear, whether they are dead or not, “they are still your family” who loved and cared for you in their life. Being that spirits of the dead were once alive like you and I, makes them the closest to us on this material but significant alter in the room.

 

Her arrangement is solemn and deliberately organized with various photographs of all our deceased relatives including aunts, uncles, parents and grandparents as well as nephews, nieces, cousins and other relations.

 

She also makes it very clear how she selected those photographs of relatives who may have been close to her and others and stipulates why she even included those who she had problems with for the forgiveness of their sins and troubles.

 

It appears my mother in law has reconciled the past with the present as she let go of all negativity of all of the dead in the family so she could cease her anger towards them and created a love-like relationship that shows they are not unwanted but rather accepted as her family forever.

 

A devout Catholic, she has placed a crucifix on the ancestor altar, or if they were other form of Christian she also placed a regular cross on this altar.  Other than her solo and solemn moment in from of this alter, she does not perform any rituals except to honor our ancestors. 

 

Her chore to maintain this alter is a weekly task. At first, in the creation of the alter, she thought the best place for its place or setting would be the living room as she wanted every family member who came to visit, see it. Then finding the ideal spot, she cleansed it with a purifying wash made of a mixture of water and white vinegar.

 

Then a white table cloth on the alter top laid there to place all the religious symbols and photographs around the sanctified alter. At times, she rubs blessing oils or sprinkles holy water on the cross and crucifix as this signifies her efforts to keep away any negative spirits posing as her ancestors.

 

She rubs blessing oil or sprinkles holy water on the cross or crucifix as she believes this will help keep away negative spirits posing as her ancestors. She talks to them for a while and tells them how she miss them, and how she hasn’t forgotten any of them.  Softly, she asks her ancestors for their blessing in her daily life ask them to help her gain good health, love, and prosperity. 

 

The photograph of Marissa sits center. There she is surrounded with pictures of other deceased relatives. Near the photograph, just slightly in front of it sit a clear glass with water. The candles are lit 24 / 7 and the water is changed weekly if not more often as it evaporates, signifying the thirst of life.

 

Although Mondays is the preferred day to change the water, I have seen her change it more often than weekly. This way she always pray to her ancestors no less than every Monday.  She approaches the altar, knock three times, and tell them who she is. 

 

Then, she offers them the fresh water and says a prayer to GOD on their behalf, asking Him to bless them and help them grow in spirit. Talking to them for a while, she passionately and emotionally tells them how she miss them, and how she has not forgotten them. In turn, she asks her ancestors for their blessing in her daily life ask them to help her have good health, love, and prosperity. 

 

The prayer is silent at times and out loud at other times. The mood dictates the prayer and the words. The time spent is a connection with the past that can only be rendered through the spiritual world created inside this house and alter.

 

On this beautiful hand-made shrine, you will also find a ceramic plate, a vase with fresh flowers and a very small bowl. She lights a white candle for them and leaves it there to burn for them, her valued and cherished ancestors, and offers them the glory of the light, heat, and energy of the candle. 

 

To close the ceremony she claps three times this is the signal to end the session. She believes that in time, we all develop a stronger connection with our ancestors and you can start to give them food offerings, such as bread fruits and candies. She tries to offer foods that she knew they favored in life, and says this offering will keep them happy.      

 

Thus my mother in law maintains a positive and loving relationship with her daughter and other relatives through this ancestral alter. Without saying it out loud, she has managed to find a constructive way to a certain level of tranquility and peace as she feels positively, this will help her in life to resolve those problems that concern the family.

I can't say I understand all of this that is done or said but I can say I certainly respect her love and devotion towards her daughter and her ancestors as she does this ritual more likely till the day she joins them on this ancestral alter in her house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment