My Mother-in-Law and the Ancestral Altar
Living with my mother in law for months
at a time has given me a new perspective on how the family mourns the death of
our youngest sister and sister in law. We were saddened by her sudden departure
at such a young age that we mourned what seemed to be an eternity plus then
some.
On the other side, my mother in law is
still in mourning and she has erected an ancestral alter to keep her connection
spiritually with her daughter alive.
It may not seem real to many that do
not practice such devotion to a deceased person but my mother in law is no
ordinary person. Her heart is filled with 24 karat gold and her love for
humanity, the family and close friends is unwavering and always strong as she
is the type who carries her heart on her sleeve wherever she goes.
When Marissa passed away from a
complicated surgery, we were all shocked it happened so quickly. Our hearts
poured out pain for her children left behind and denied the love of their
mother so early in their lives. It was cruel and harshness all rolled up in a
ball that couldn’t be undone. The pain was so enormous, it showed on all our
faces.
Passing the years, we have all
recovered to some degree of our dire and dreadful loss of our little sister.
All of us, except of course, my mother in law who still mourns her death daily.
Every day, she walks up to her photograph and kisses her gently. Her eyes still
tear and her voice trembles.
Her attempts to connect with her
through the spiritual world has deepened yearly, as she not only connects with
Marissa but with her mother and father as well as her devotion to her sisters.
When you walk into her home, she is
very clear about her religion. There is the statue of the Virgin Mary, the
crucifix on the wall and the abundance of scriptures hanging with the face of
Jesus in the middle of the center wall. There should be no doubt about her
faith, her devotion and her love for God.
Then as you walk into the middle of the
room, you will instantly spot her blissful conception over there on the wooden
desk converted into the ancestral alter stands her spiritual reality.
A small but practical alter made for
the heavens to see for her beloved Marissa. It stands out like an antenna for
all to see and hear her story of her cherished and precious daughter.
She made this alter with love, as every
creation, every piece of energy was put into the reality that there is a
connection between her and the spirits of the dead as well as the living as she
still feels sad for the dead and spiritly loves those still around her, especially
her grandchildren who come often to stay with her on the weekends.
My mother in law made this altar for all our ancestors, this altar
has become an attraction for other spirits who will take notice that she still
wants to worship and venerate with these spirits.
In her own words, she said that this alter and all its belongings
“is a very important step in working with the spirits” and necessary if you
want to continue to worship or venerate your ancestors.
She makes it clear, whether they are dead or not, “they are still
your family” who loved and cared for you in their life. Being that spirits of
the dead were once alive like you and I, makes them the closest to us on this
material but significant alter in the room.
Her arrangement is solemn and deliberately organized with various
photographs of all our deceased relatives including aunts, uncles, parents and
grandparents as well as nephews, nieces, cousins and other relations.
She also makes it very clear how she selected those photographs of
relatives who may have been close to her and others and stipulates why she even
included those who she had problems with for the forgiveness of their sins and
troubles.
It appears my mother in law has reconciled the past with the
present as she let go of all negativity of all of the dead in the family so she
could cease her anger towards them and created a love-like relationship that
shows they are not unwanted but rather accepted as her family forever.
A devout Catholic, she has placed a crucifix on the ancestor
altar, or if they were other form of Christian she also placed a regular cross
on this altar. Other than her solo and
solemn moment in from of this alter, she does not perform any rituals except to
honor our ancestors.
Her chore to maintain this alter is a weekly task. At first, in
the creation of the alter, she thought the best place for its place or
setting would be the living room as she wanted every family member who came to
visit, see it. Then finding the ideal spot, she cleansed it with a purifying
wash made of a mixture of water and white vinegar.
Then a white table cloth on the alter top laid there to place all
the religious symbols and photographs around the sanctified alter. At times,
she rubs blessing oils or sprinkles holy water on the cross and crucifix as
this signifies her efforts to keep away any negative spirits posing as her ancestors.
She rubs blessing oil or sprinkles holy water on the cross or
crucifix as she believes this will help keep away negative spirits posing as
her ancestors. She talks to them for a while and tells them how she miss them,
and how she hasn’t forgotten any of them.
Softly, she asks her ancestors for their blessing in her daily life ask
them to help her gain good health, love, and prosperity.
The photograph of Marissa sits center. There she is surrounded
with pictures of other deceased relatives. Near the photograph, just slightly
in front of it sit a clear glass with water. The candles are lit 24 / 7 and the
water is changed weekly if not more often as it evaporates, signifying the
thirst of life.
Although Mondays is the preferred day to change the water, I have
seen her change it more often than weekly. This way she always pray to her
ancestors no less than every Monday. She
approaches the altar, knock three times, and tell them who she is.
Then, she offers them the fresh water and says a prayer to GOD on
their behalf, asking Him to bless them and help them grow in spirit. Talking to
them for a while, she passionately and emotionally tells them how she miss
them, and how she has not forgotten them. In turn, she asks her ancestors for
their blessing in her daily life ask them to help her have good health, love,
and prosperity.
The prayer is silent at times and out loud at other times. The
mood dictates the prayer and the words. The time spent is a connection with the
past that can only be rendered through the spiritual world created inside this
house and alter.
On this beautiful hand-made shrine, you will also find a ceramic
plate, a vase with fresh flowers and a very small bowl. She lights a white
candle for them and leaves it there to burn for them, her valued and cherished
ancestors, and offers them the glory of the light, heat, and energy of the
candle.
To close the ceremony she claps three times this is the signal to
end the session. She believes that in time, we all develop a stronger
connection with our ancestors and you can start to give them food offerings,
such as bread fruits and candies. She tries to offer foods that she knew they
favored in life, and says this offering will keep them happy.
Thus my mother in law maintains a positive and loving relationship
with her daughter and other relatives through this ancestral alter. Without
saying it out loud, she has managed to find a constructive way to a certain
level of tranquility and peace as she feels positively, this will help her in
life to resolve those problems that concern the family.
I can't say I understand all of this that is
done or said but I can say I certainly respect her love and devotion towards
her daughter and her ancestors as she does this ritual more likely till the day
she joins them on this ancestral alter in her house.
No comments:
Post a Comment