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Survivor guilt (or survivor's guilt; also called survivor
syndrome or survivor's syndrome) is a mental condition that occurs when a
person perceives themselves to have done wrong by surviving a traumatic event
when others did not. This book is the final step in my recovery on this matter
that has been haunting me for many years now. Not an issue we really want to
talk about or even write about, but a necessity in dealing with the realities
connected to this syndrome that impacts so many people who suffer from it.
This is a real story and a real situation. Being in Vietnam
at the age of 19 and drafted into the Army, I struggled with many emotions but
never against my country – rather the opposite, the fight inside me was always
with myself. The anger, depression, guilt and no matter how much I tried to
work it out, it kept coming back to haunt me until I made the right step and
deal with it directly through Jacob’s sister who I contacted one day via the
telephone and introduced myself as a fellow member of the 23rd
Medical Battalion in Chu Lai, the day her brother died on a convoy that was
normally assigned to me.
A dedicated military policeman, trained in first aid, “Jake”
rode shotgun on the second truck in the convoy when it was hit by an EID that
was meant for me but circumstances spared my life and took his. A true story
that has helped me heal inside and now sharing it with others so they can
understand or sense what needs to be done to put it aside, away or temper it so
you can cope and be free from the guilt. A short book but heavy with
circumstances that form the guilt, the experiences and the step to take in the
end when all you have tried has failed and you need more help to overcome the
mental burdens inside your head.
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